Letters To An
Overseas Friend.

I got a store bought haircut a few days ago at my guy. I suspect I get charged more due to the tail, making my haircuts, technically, “long hair” and the extra hassle that that entails. The hairdresser and I have never explicitly discussed why my haircut costs more (by varying amounts) than the $10 advertised on the sandwich board. Clearly, I’ve fallen into the “…AND UP” category.

Over morning snacks and hot beverages, Nadia noticed the new haircut and declared that it looks good. I said I feel good, which probably contributed to me looking good, which made me feel even more good. Now, this presents a problem: wouldn’t this dynamic eventually spiral out of control in what basically amounts to a perpetual good machine? No, because a perpetual good machine is impossible due to the first of the Three Laws Of Goodynamics (pronounced good-DI-nah-miks. good-ee-NAW-mics, while the more popular pronunciation, is actually incorrect. Good dynamics is something else entirely). The Laws are as follows:

RULE 1: Good can neither be created nor destroyed.

RULE 2: The good of an isolated system not in equilibrium will tend to increase over time, approaching a maximum value at equilibrium. OR: Unless intervened, good spreads out; meaning good goes from high good to low good (remember, there's no such "thing" as bad. Bad is just a lack of good).

RULE 3: Not important. Something about approaching zero good.

RULE 0: Turns out there is a RULE 0. But never mind that. See RULE 3

So I conclude to Nadia that all this goodness will check itself and even-out with the amount of good of my surroundings. The model of looking and feeling good still makes sense. We can go back to eating our croissants.

Nadia enjoys this and says I should make a comic about it. First of all, I don’t know how she has it in her head that I have the capabilities or the will to make a comic about anything, but I thank her for thinking that I could. If I spent my time and energy making shareable and semi-useful things out of every random head twitch I feel like playing with, I suspect I would have fewer things to make and I’d curse the amount of effort it takes to make things that are interesting to other people. Sometimes, it’s good to think just to think.

Although, what is the impetus that stimulates ideas being dealt with and made into something? As opposed to those that just disappear into, or, at least, never escape the internal aether of your own head and speech? Vision? Probably vision.

In continuation of our discussion on imagination, I was reminded of this story:

There once was a guy. We’ll call him, I don’t know… Archimedes. He was at a child’s birthday party one day. Archimedes was a grown up, but he was at the party for some reason. Let’s say because he is family. It’s not important. At this party, there were bubbles because kids love bubbles. And lots of bubble solution. And plastic cups. And plastic straws. Archimedes remembered something from his distant past:

1. You pour a little bubble solution into a cup.
2. Then you use a straw to blow into said solution.

Result: massive foam, whose massiveness was only outsized by massive fun. Bubble beards. Bubble coifs. Bubble clouds. And, as children make outrageous stretches with their outrageous thought processes, a bubble castle that, to the more inelastic imaginations of grownups like Archimedes, looked like an amorphous pile of foam on the lawn. Why the castle? So bombers can sprinkle sand on it and watch the castle explode. That’s why. Sometimes you build so you can destroy.

As the children in the post-toddler cohort did this, a toddling girl watched from a distance, looking like she wanted in on that. Badly. Archimedes saw her. And handed the now smiling toddling girl a cup ‘n solution set up. Why? Depending on who you ask, because he doesn’t think. But don’t worry. Before straw could come to mouth, the other grownups, let’s give them a representative and call this person Everyman, shut that down. “SHE’S TOO YOUNG,” said Everyman. “SHE’LL DRINK IT,” Everyman educated. Smart Everyman. Stupid Archimedes, depending on who you ask. Shameful Archimedes, didn’t think it through, did you? Well that is a problem but that’s no problem because problems have solutions, thought Archimedes. “She looks pretty smart to me. Why don’t we start with water in place of the bubble solution and see if she grasps the concept of blowing into the straw?” Queried Archimedes. “NO,” said Everyman.

The older kids played on. The toddling girl spectated. The older kids eventually moved on to other activities. So did the toddling girl. And an adequately good time was had by most.

Take the usual suspects at Joe’s, The Professor for example, and a fantastical observation emerges: none of them age. Yup, I know that’s absurd. Even if it does appear that way, it is probably for the same reason as not noticing yourself age. Even so, I’ll say it’s magic and not one of them has aged. I think that place would be an apt setting for a pretty wack fairy tale.