Letters To An
Overseas Friend.

The same individual can regularly exhibit notable feats of memory, good feats and bad feats. I can recall the names of almost all the actors of Beverley Hills 90210 and be told I have a good memory then consistently forget to take my lunch to work and be told that I have a lousy memory. Seems contradictory? The easy explanation is that they are really two different things working in two different ways. If they are so different, why then do we use the same word, memory, for both? They don’t seem too different to me. They both are a suite of routines involving the three “R’s.” Register, retain, retrieve. Perhaps the differences between the ability for cast memorization and the inability for sandwich portage are willingness and triggers. Memorization and remembering are not quite the same thing. I didn’t so much lack the memory of taking my lunch (ie. memorize) as much as the memory didn’t trigger (ie. remember) at the appropriate time, possibly due to a lack of willingness to remember. Why would I be motivated to memorize the cast of Beverley Hills 90210? The answer might appear to be that, no, I would not be motivated to remember the cast. Although, I can name the cast of The Facts Of Life (except Blair but including Mrs. Garrette(sp.?)). I know who Tina Yothers and Dana Plato are. You got to care in some form to know that. And I didn’t even mention anything about queueing memory and how that plays into all this.

Being a real scientist looks very glamorous to me but it couldn’t be as fun as being an internet scientist. Probably not, since you’d probably have to exercise a high amount of discipline, responsibility, and follow through to pay for all that glamour.

And on the subject of memory, let us solemnly never forget the debit card incident.

The other day I bought an onion from one of my go to grocers in Chinatown. The intention wasn’t to pick up a lone onion, but after looking over the freshness of the other items on my list, I decided the onion was the only thing that I actually needed that evening.

At the cashier, the onion came to 22 cents. I paid with a quarter. I was given a nickel for change. Remember, we have abolished the penny, so the onion’s cost got rounded down. This seemed unfair to me. Due to a federal currency policy, I had paid only 91% of the cost of the onion. Actually, what it really felt like was that I was given back 1/11 or roughly 10% of my entire bill. Yes, this is all ridiculous and it didn’t take me long to reset myself to the proper perspective. But something instinctual happened, didn’t it? I had automatically picked out the proportional details of the transaction, rather than than looking at the discreet units, which was 2 cents.

Enough onions will get rounded up (say a slightly larger onion costing 23 cents) to even out this effect, too. There is nothing unfair about a 22 cent onion.

On vestigial parts: The finger is fully functional now. A little stiff, less so weak, and vaguely soar if articulated or pressed the wrong way. But typing feels the same as ever. Eating also. Buttoning pants and doing up zippers are back to normal. Most activities except, and there’s a theme developing…

Buttoning shirts and tying shoelaces. For these two actions, The finger and some part of my brain autonomously but tenderly lift the finger back to keep it out of harm’s way, as if it’s still wrapped up and half-severed. Why?

I think one interesting detail sets these two things apart from the before mentioned tasks: I do these two things somewhat often but not regularly, as opposed to pants that go on everyday. I also operate eating utensils and a keyboard everyday and several times each day. But buttoned shirts are uncommon (once a week?) and, these summer days, I usually wear shoes without laces. In contrast, these two tasks were performed more often in the cooler climate during the height of the injury*. It seems to me that, post-wrap removal, through necessity and repetition, the finger was fully integrated on some tasks ASAP, but, through a lack of need and infrequency of task, the finger is yet to be re-conditioned for other activities.

In everything I do, I hope to exercise thought and intention. But it’s not hard to find microcosms of how a good chunk of my day is performed via conditioning. These are small tasks for sure. But what about larger ones? What of my treatment of and reactions to people? See, you got me thinking about kindness, Thomas.


*If not buttoning a shirt, then buttoning a jacket.